Weird week in the news biz

By: Brian Rogers

Brian Rogers
Rogers Rabbits

Greetings Sunners

We’ve had extraordinary feedback from last week’s column – the piece on Winnie The Pooh and his friends, post-general election.

The Sun has been overwhelmed* with messages about this column.

Thanks for the feedback. I even got a text from my Dad.

Then that radical, outspoken website, Whale Oil, contacted us and asked if they could re-publish it.  Which we agreed to, which means a whole new audience of Whale Oil followers are now tuned into The Weekend Sun website and SunLive.

Interestingly, we didn’t get much feedback from the ACT party or Labour.

But a couple of Greens party folk queried why they were left out. Just goes to show you can’t please everybody.

Which is not surprising; the column doesn’t set out to please anyone, rather poke as much borax as possible in as many different directions as possible.

Anyway, this week has been a dog’s breakfast of events, bizarre news,
and disaster.

US firearms reform necessary

Our thoughts are with the US and the good people of Las Vegas after a horrific massacre at the hands of what appears to be another deranged nutter.

It’s clear that some firearms reform is necessary; at least better controls on the sale and possession of automatic weapons; or those that can be altered to rapid fire.

The satirical website the Onion this week pointed out that Australia celebrated more than 7800 days without a massacre, citing stricter gun controls as the answer.

There’s got be some middle ground whereby the rights of genuine, sane hunter-gatherers are retained; while the rights of the rest of the population get protection from automatic-fire weapons. There’s no place for machine guns in any civilian role, yet it seems from the Las Vegas footage that the weapons deployed were full automatic.

Here in New Zealand these are not permitted, except in the case of bonafide collectors; only semi-autos… one pull of the trigger per round.

There will be plenty of gun aficionados out there to correct me on the finer
points, but to put it in layman’s terms, no society can justify the civilian ownership of automatic fire ‘machine guns’ with massive magazines, when a semi-auto with a maximum five or six rounds should be plenty for the average hunter-gatherer’s purposes.

And if there’s a nutter prepared to kill innocent people, guns are not the only weapons that need controls. There have been plenty of cases of trucks, planes and pressure cookers deployed as weapons of mass destruction. Perhaps these weapons need some stricter controls on them too.

Meanwhile, the week just went weirder after that.

Weird supermarket stuff

Being a hunter-gatherer, I rarely go to the supermarket. I avoid this whenever possible. This week I was instructed to search for Angus beef patties. I couldn’t find Angus but returned with another brand. I was in deep trouble. I still don’t understand.

I don’t care what the beefies name was. He’s dead now, so we might as well eat him.

One good reason to avoid the supermarket, unless you are completely out of rations: it is too easy to buy things that are not necessary. And besides, there are disturbing and weird people in there.

Such as this guy:

People give me grief about wearing zip off pants, Crocs and hats with solar lights. But at least I haven’t sunk to the depravity of skin tight grundies, purple knee stockings under Doc Martens. I don’t like to judge, but I will.

This must be some sort of sickness.

This message on behalf of my dog: cats should be made to pick up after themselves and not be allowed to litter the aisles.


If you get a deal offering a special on canned meat, beware.

I reckon it’s just spam.

Weird week

Tom Petty died, then it was discovered he wasn’t dead, just brain dead but still had a pulse. So kinda like Keith Richards, I guess. Then Tom died. Such sad news.

The dog stole and ate a pound of butter off Uncle Tony’s kitchen bench. She’s now asking for toast to go with it.

Kim Jong and Prez Don continue to rattle their sabres and take us all a step closer to nuclear annihilation.

And Winston is doing exactly what he said he’d do: wait for the special votes to be counted. Despite this, some of the media are trotting out the old line ‘country held to ransom’. What bollocks.

They’re simply waiting for the full result and then getting into coalition talks. Memo to media: Don’t hold your breath.

*How the media measures feedback:

Some interest: The dog woke up.

Great interest: The dog barked and one person commented.

Substantial feedback: The dog sat up for a scratch, the phone rang and more than one email received.

The phone didn’t stop ringing: the phone rang twice, but one of those was a wrong number.

Overwhelmed: Had more than 20 emails, a couple of phone calls, a chat at the Chapel St petrol station and a text from Dad.

Inundated: Stopped counting the emails, upset the Spinners & Weavers, invited to speak at service club meetings.