Parents fighting the scourge of P

Tauranga policeman Senior Constable Lindsay Smith, Ros, Erin, and Pat Buckley.

The hand of understanding and support is going out to parents living secretively with the shame and guilt of having methamphetamine-addicted kids.

It comes from two Tauranga businesswomen Ros and Erin , both of whom have been to the brink with children addicted to P and both of whom want to retain an element of anonymity for the sake of their families.

'If I knew 15 years ago what I know now I would have been prepared for the onslaught; and I would have done things completely differently,” says Erin.

She wouldn't have dismissed her son's changed behaviour as hormonal and she would have ransacked his pockets. 'Even when he was in rehab at 19, I was in denial. I just never would have imagined.”

'You have to break them,” says Ros. 'Break them down until they have nothing left in the world.”

And that's why Ros and Erin want to share with parents of P addicts something that's become known as ‘The Plan'. 'It's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It is dirty work isolating your own child when they need you most,” says Ros. 'But she had abused me, punched me, stolen from me, broken my house and I couldn't take any more.”

And by sharing their experiences, they hope to draw out other parents to their Brave Hearts Support Group – an exploratory meeting for people who have loved ones gripped by the insidiousness of P addiction.

‘The Plan' is a strategy of Tauranga policeman Senior Constable Lindsay ‘Red' Smith. 'It involves tough love; very tough love,” says Ros. And the policemen will talk the Brave Hearts through the strategy at their first meeting at Tauranga Boys' College next Tuesday night at 7pm.

‘The Plan' involves parents setting up surveillance cameras at home. The cameras are connected to an iPhone so parents can see what their children are up to 24/7. ‘The Plan' also involves parents taking out a trespass notice against their children.

'At the moment I couldn't take any more I served my child with the trespass notice, got her out of my life” one mother of a P addict told The Weekend Sun. 'She came crawling back when she had no money, no drugs, no friends, no food, nowhere to stay. She was at the end of her tether.

'She suddenly realised the hold P had on her.”

Her last chance was six months ago. All is good, so far.

'It was the toughest, scariest thing I had ever done,” says the mother. 'But I wanted my child better. I wanted my child back and I would not give into P. I would do whatever it took.

'And your child needs to know you are serious.”

What about parents who might be too afraid or ashamed to join the Brave Hearts? 'Well, I am a businesswoman,” says Ros. 'I am the mother of a P addict, and I am trying to grow a business and I am putting my face out there.”

Ros says methamphetamine doesn't discriminate. 'You can be a millionaire or live in a campervan. But P takes whoever it likes.”

Erin is sympathetic. 'Parents feel guilty and they feel ashamed. We ask ourselves where did we go wrong?”

'But you have to get over yourselves,” says Ros 'If you have a kid with a problem, then you should do the best you can for them.”

The ‘best' will be laid out for parents to follow at the inaugural meeting of the Brave Hearts at Tauranga Boys' College at 7pm next Tuesday.

It's an informal evening of education and understanding.

'I just know that I went away after Red Smith gave me ‘The Plan' and I thought if I don't follow it then I have no-one to blame except myself.”

Both Erin and Ros are fortunate to have their children back. 'We are both absolutely proud of them. It's not just giving up smoking or coffee. It is huge. They have to find huge strength.”

'My hairdresser will be at the Brave Hearts meeting,” says Erin. 'She'll be bringing her 13-year-old daughter and her friends so they can hear first-hand the consequences of dabbling with P.”

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