Unmaintained berms and verges have hit the headlines again with dissatisfied residents still fed up with overgrown grass.

However, April 1 brings positive news and a possible solution with the announcement of the pensioner-promoted Slow Mow Movement.

Always keen to kill two birds with one stone and fit a maximum into her busy life, the late Ohauiti centenarian Margaret Dean was the first to float the idea of pensioners mounting a mower on their mobility scooters and mowing grass berms on the way to the store or bowling club.

With a range of battery-powered lawn mowers on the market, this dream became realisable. The Slow Mow Movement was born.

The mowers are light, powerful, noise-less and only require the press of a button to engage. Surprisingly, hook up is very simple using a lightweight spaceframe linkage complete with flashing light for safety reasons. A beeping warning system was suggested but was outvoted because of potential confusion with failing hearing aid batteries. A simple switch will convert Tortoise Speed to Slow Mow Mode.

A local scooter maintenance shop is on board and have provided the mower for the initial prototype set-up. Now, tandem teams are planned for mowing of parks and playing fields. There's a waiting list of ladies wanting to ride six-abreast around Nicholson's field. That's at Tauranga Boys' College – a place they weren't allowed to play when they were young.

Conscious of council requirements for self-contained campervans, tandem teams can also opt to add the ‘No Puddle Huddle toilet', which is also towable. Cricketers do not appreciate a wet pitch.

#### This April Fool's day announcement is courtesy of a loyal Sun reader.