Content warning: This story mentions mental health issues, being suicidal and substance abuse.

The Bay of Plenty’s ‘glass children’ are finding support and a path forward with help from New Zealand’s only organisation dedicated to providing specialised support to young carers.

Unseen Heroes co-founder and managing director Te Rina Ruru-Pelasio said ‘glass children’ is a term used for young people aged 7-24 given the responsibility of raising younger siblings, looking after grandparents or loved ones with disabilities, illnesses, mental illnesses or addictions.

“There’s more than 40,000 young carers in NZ aged 15-24,” she said.

“That doesn’t include those looking after family members with addictions, mental illnesses or the grandparents or supporting younger siblings.”

Skyla at 13-years-old, now 15, Danu at 15-years-old, now 16. Photo / supplied

Young carers are known as ‘glass children’ as they are often overlooked, Ruru-Pelasio said.

“All the focus goes on the one needing support, but at Unseen Heroes the charity sees them for who they are: the invisible heroes who give so much, often at the expense of their own wellbeing.”

Caring can look different in every family. For many young carers, it means putting someone else’s needs before their own.

Ruru-Pelasio said sometimes it means juggling school, work, and life while carrying the weight of responsibility, worry, and exhaustion.

“They try not to be a burden on their parents because they know their parents are stressed looking after the other sibling, so they try to take a lot of the role on themselves.

“It could be managing medication, navigating health services, stepping up to look after their younger siblings – so getting them off to school, getting them home from school and helping them with their homework.”

Unseen Heroes offers a free six-month programme Te Ara Mārama for young carers aged 12-24 who are feeling lost, struggling with their mental health, or finding it difficult to stay in school or keep up with their course.

“More than 80% of our kids we worked with in the past have had suicidal ideations. A lot of them feel guilty for feeling like this, but they don’t open up or talk to anyone.”

Young Carer Amaia at 15-years-old at camp 2024. Photo / supplied

Ruru-Pelasio, herself a former carer, has lived experiences which is why she decided to found this organisation with her co-founder who she said “is the one that helped me, saved my life”.

“My older brother sustained a severe traumatic brain injury from a car accident when I was 16.

“I stepped up with my mum and my sister, and we all became his primary caregivers. He required 24-hour care.”

Ruru-Pelasio said stepping into this role had a drastic impact on her mental health.

“Over time, I became a self-harmer, I was suicidal. You wouldn’t believe it when you saw me back then because I always had a smile on my face. I was good at hiding it.”

She began to use drugs and alcohol to numb her feelings.

“I didn’t want to tell anyone because I didn’t think I had any right to feel the way I felt.”

Ruru-Pelasio said she felt guilty that she didn’t want to do it at times, she wanted to be a kid and live a normal life like her friends.

“I ended up spiralling.”

She reached out to several counselling services but didn’t feel like they understood what she was going through. It wasn’t until she met her co-founder Char Rain – who also comes from lived experience – that she felt safe enough to open up.

Unseen Heroes co-founders Char Rain and Te Rina Ruru-Pelasio. Photo / supplied

“She helped me to develop my self-love and self-worth and gave me the tools to navigate my feelings around caring so I was still able to do it, but I was supported while I was doing it.”

This is what the programme is all about. They go on the camp to have fun and be a kid, and then once they start to become more mentally healthy, they learn to navigate the stress and aspire for their futures.

The annual camps – originally called Camp Unity – are available for 25 young carers to enrol into. It’s a chance to meet other carers and do some adventure activities.

They have weekly Zoom sessions of about 30 minutes to an hour where they start to learn the tools to deal with anxiety, depression and addictions as well as develop self-love, self-worth and learn about self-care.

Then, the programme introduces the aspirational side of the course.

“We try to recruit as many volunteer tutors on board and we get them paired up with our young carers.

“A lot of the kids are falling behind in school, constantly late to class, missing classes, they’ve got absent fees… so they tend to fall behind, and they feel like failures,” said Ruru-Pelasio.

“We get our tutors to make sure they’re about to catch up on their work so that it doesn’t become a barrier to their future dreams.”

The programme not only aims to support the kids in their current situations, but gives them the opportunity to think about their futures beyond caring.

“Once they get to that stage, then we’re able to get them in with work opportunities and work experience.”

Ruru-Pelasio said one of the carers recently spent a day in a veterinarian clinic shadowing a vet nurse at Auckland Zoo.

“It’s about introducing them to the world and the many opportunities that are available to them.”

Unseen Heroes has a Bay of Plenty camp coming up on July 25-27 at Tui Ridge Park, Rotorua for children aged 13-24. To find out more, or enrol, visit: www.unseenheroes.org.nz or email: info@unseenheroes.org.nz